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Things that really f**k you off - Video game edition


Rayn
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1 hour ago, Lochenvar said:

 

I'd still put money on it being a technical reason. I work in Narrative and there's almost zero chance that gameplay would be held up just so a character could say some dialogue. Even in a game as narrative-heavy as GoG, it's still about the lowest priority part of development. It's far, far more common that dialogue is used to paper over cracks.


You might be right but I just took it as slowing the process of finding the character down as a way to get the many (many) lines of dialogue out during a pretty small map. Either way, it boiled my piss for sure. Maybe the technical reason was they couldn’t be bothered to make a bigger map segment :hat:

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47 minutes ago, Strafe said:

couldn’t be bothered

Ah, you’re one of them.

 

You know what boils my piss? Gamers, who when told, by a 20-year veteran developer, about the technical reasons behind something, fall back on ‘lazy devs’. Feel free to tell me what you do, so I can call you fucking lazy.

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Stealth sections that are in non-stealth game ,s, especially ones that take you back to a checkpoint right at the start . the overrated Zelda botw is a prime example. ( albeit a quit short one) 

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Crawling. So many games have this where you get shot, blown up, etc. and need to crawl extremely slowly towards something that may help you. All it is, is pressing up and waiting until the game has decided you have suffered enough and actually gets on with letting you actually have some input.

 

 

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This doesn’t piss me off as such, but it’s weird that when you want to be silent/stealthy in games this is represented by crouching down.
 

Have you tried walking around while crouching? It’s way harder than walking normally, and way louder, with all the folds of your trousers swooshing together. 

 

Also, you’d get a head rush when you stood up. Maybe games should have you passing out if you stand up from crouching too quickly. 

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23 minutes ago, Popo said:

This doesn’t piss me off as such, but it’s weird that when you want to be silent/stealthy in games this is represented by crouching down.

*raises hand* !

related: when standing up in first-person games, your eye level being nowhere near as high as it should.  Playing the opening of the Resident Evil 3 remake the other day, to see what the update had done, I felt like they had also put in a Peter Dinklage mod.

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Games where you have to repeat a short section over and over - like, say, a boss you die at very quickly, or a little short racing section that you have to beat but keep failing, etc., and the game insists on reloading all the data in after every failed attempt, even though you haven't left the tiny area it happens in so all the assets are already loaded into memory.  You *should* be able to just press a button an instantly restart, but the game behaves as if you've arrived in this location for the first time every time you fail and makes you wait 30 seconds before you can go again.

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1 hour ago, Lochenvar said:

Ah, you’re one of them.

 

You know what boils my piss? Gamers, who when told, by a 20-year veteran developer, about the technical reasons behind something, fall back on ‘lazy devs’. Feel free to tell me what you do, so I can call you fucking lazy.


Forgive me for not knowing your veteran status 😔.

 

You don’t need to know what I do to call me ‘fucking lazy’, I can confirm that irrespective of career choice I very much am.

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Enforced stealth missions where you fail the segment if you get seen and have to restart it rather than dealing with the consequences of fucking up*

 

Example of this: Ghost of Tsushima

 

As opposed to, say, MGSV or Last of Us 2 where you’d have to fight your way out if you get seen.

 

*Apologies if there are technical reasons for this.

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1 hour ago, Strafe said:

Enforced stealth missions where you fail the segment if you get seen and have to restart it rather than dealing with the consequences of fucking up*

 

Example of this: Ghost of Tsushima

 

As opposed to, say, MGSV or Last of Us 2 where you’d have to fight your way out if you get seen.

 

*Apologies if there are technical reasons for this.

 

This! Insta death/fail during forced stealth missions where everything is over if you're spotted by a lone guard at the outskirts of a map can get bent. It's especially frustrating when this happens in a game that is not a stealth game, like a platformer or a shooter. I've yet to actually play Wolfenstein: New Blood  beyond its opening chapter simply because the game starts off with a stealth mission where everything is over if you're spotted. In this particular game, the mission seems endless and I've had 45 minute sessions without being spotted and then boom, back to start. Fuck that and then some. 

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Any game - and I’d exclude turn based RPG’s and similar sorts of examples where taking damage is a given or mechanic - where you can’t avoid getting hit.

 

As an example, in modern warfare 1 (I think) there’s a story mission where your squad or convoy has to pass through a load of enemy fire and you have no way to not take a couple of hits as it’s just random gunfire. That’s bad.

 

Any game where you can’t theoretically pass it on first pass. There are caveats again, rogue like games, tutorials, it’s part of the story and so on but as an example I remember the Edge review of super monkey ball 2 pointing out that some of the levels where designed that you couldn’t see the course or where to go without basically dying first to see where you had to go on the first pass.

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I'm slowly becoming spoiled by the new console's ability to quick resume.

 

My PC is great in many ways, but this should be a thing on my beast of a machine, and by damnation it pains me.

 

 

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Characters who aren't English speaking English with an accent when there's 100% no reason for them to be speaking English. I get why, time and money, but it still fucking annoys me. Assassin's Creed is a bastard for this. Almost all in the series is set somewhere where English isn't the dominant language yet we still get no native tongue.

 

Also Singularity on the 360. That one annoyed me so much I remembered that it annoyed me. Something has to be egregious for me to remember it, my memory is shockingly bad.

 

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In no particular order and am sure I have a few more too! 😂

 

slow movement speed

Being forced to move around at what seems like 1mph is just really frustrating.  I don't expect to be running round like the Flash all the time but overly slow movement speeds can get to fuck.  And yes, RDR2 Camp I am very much thinking of you as part of this! 🤬

 

menus/ tabs that don't wrap (transition from the end directly back to the beginning)

All menus, RB/ LB tabs etc should 'wrap'.  Its so annoying and time wasting when they don't especially when it's a long set.  Bonus fuck off points to games where wrapping has been implemented in some of the menus/ tabs but not all of them.

 

lack of in game re-familiarisation

Something that bugs me is games that have a big DLC release/ expansion but nothing as part of that to help the player re-familiarise themselves with the game, its controls and mechanisms etc that they likely have not played for 6+ months or more.  Its a primary reason why I typically don't buy DLC expansions for games unless its as part of a complete/ goty version that I've waited for before playing the game at all.

 

poor implementation of quick resume

Quick resume is an absolutely awesome feature that has been made (potentially) even better with the multigame version of it that the PS5 and Xbox Series X have BUT it is far, far too buggy in implementation and years later it is still the Nintendo Switch that does it most reliably.  I get that its not simple and that things like games with networked features make it harder but for a headline core feature of the current consoles it is not reliable enough even in tentpole games from the platform holders, FH5 for example is shit at it.

 

All loot boxes and gambling mechanic transactions

Just fuck off, these all need to be banned

 

Escort missions

Enough said already, these were way overdone in the past and there is no reason to bring them back 

 

QTEs

Ditto with QTEs, please go and never return

 

Any game where cutscenes or "character chat" are as long as the actual gameplay

Fire Emblem I am looking at you 😡

 

Poor checkpoint placement

Games where they manage to put multiple checkpoints close together in some easy/ nothing part of the game and then have none for ages in a difficult area, set of boss fights etc.  Also doing things like putting them before long unskippable bits is super annoying

 

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Stupid difficulty spikes right at the end of the game.

 

Specifically, cheap bosses in fighting games. I know it's a mainstay of the genre, but it's just stupid when they have attacks that hasn't been seen up to that point. Like projectiles or unlockable or stunning attacks when no other characters have anything similar.

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I decided to have a go on my PC last night, I fancied a session of Counter Strike as it's been a while. I'm not sure how many weeks it's been since I last booted up my gaming laptop but I'm guessing around 8-10 weeks. 

 

A few seconds after booting up Win 11 I'm told Steam needs updating. Fine, I accept. Once that's done, I get another "steam needs updating". While it's updating again, the following applications are screaming for attention: 
"Spotify needs updating"
"There's a new version of Java.....Click here to update"
"There are new nVidia Drivers for your graphics accelerator......"
"Epic Games needs updating"
"Ubisoft Club needs updating"
"EA Origins (or whatever its name is these days) needs updating"

"Battlenet Launcher needs updating"

"Xbox Dashboard needs updating"
"Xbox Game Pass needs updating"
"Microsoft Store needs updating"

"Windows needs to install critical updates, click OK to install and restart"

As annoying as this was, I accepted it all, waited and rebooted. Finally got steam opened and wouldn't you know, 80% of my installed Steam games including Counter Strike needed updating. 

I abandoned my computer desk, booted up my Series X and Quick Resumed my last session of Assassins Creed Valhalla, all within 10 seconds. 

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21 minutes ago, Rayn said:

I decided to have a go on my PC last night, I fancied a session of Counter Strike as it's been a while. I'm not sure how many weeks it's been since I last booted up my gaming laptop but I'm guessing around 8-10 weeks. 

 

A few seconds after booting up Win 11 I'm told Steam needs updating. Fine, I accept. Once that's done, I get another "steam needs updating". While it's updating again, the following applications are screaming for attention: 
"Spotify needs updating"
"There's a new version of Java.....Click here to update"
"There are new nVidia Drivers for your graphics accelerator......"
"Epic Games needs updating"
"Ubisoft Club needs updating"
"EA Origins (or whatever its name is these days) needs updating"

"Battlenet Launcher needs updating"

"Xbox Dashboard needs updating"
"Xbox Game Pass needs updating"
"Microsoft Store needs updating"

"Windows needs to install critical updates, click OK to install and restart"

As annoying as this was, I accepted it all, waited and rebooted. Finally got steam opened and wouldn't you know, 80% of my installed Steam games including Counter Strike needed updating. 

I abandoned my computer desk, booted up my Series X and Quick Resumed my last session of Assassins Creed Valhalla, all within 10 seconds. 

 

Why in the fuck do you have all of those opening at startup :blink:

 

 

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Puzzles that are just a handful of components that don't give you any feedback until you do the one thing you're supposed to do. I appreciate that this is 90% of all puzzle design in video games, which is why I can't stand 90% of puzzles in video games.

 

I like puzzle games that are mechanically based, like Portal, or Boulderdash, or Zachtronics type games. I'm pretty sure I'll love Baba is You when I get round to it. I thought Outer Wilds, while it is guilty of some of what I'm complaining about here, had some incredible puzzles based around practical observation, detective work and experimentation. I like a lot of puzzles in non-puzzle games the Shrines in BOTW, or the little physics problems and obstacles in Half Life 2.

 

It's not puzzles that you have to experiment with and solve that get on my nerves. It's puzzles that are just there, in the way. You can't solve them, because they don't give you any feedback, sometimes they don't even have any moving parts. Sometimes it's not even clear how and what you can interact with. You just have to second guess what the developer wants you to do and do that one thing.

 

I gave up on Far Lone Sails the other week, I know it was a short game and I think I was probably near the end but after a while I just got sick of stopping at a door and the developer going "eh? eh? How are you going to get past this door eh?". I don't know mate. There's a switch, do I press the switch? Okay, it was the switch, cool.

 

And then inevitably you get to the bit where you press the switch and nothing happens and the developer is going: "Oooh! The switch doesn't work! How are you going to figure this out?"

 

Well, I'm going to push the switch again a few times because that's the only option I appear to have, and it's the only option you've ever given me in this game. Then I'm going to spend 30 seconds debating whether I want to engage any further with your tedious bullshit, which has already got my back up. Then I'm going to turn off your game, spend 30 seconds debating with myself whether to look at the ending on Youtube, decide I don't really care, and then a couple of weeks later I'm going to post about it on Rllmuk.

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31 minutes ago, SaintM said:

Good job it wasn't 8-10 weeks since you last had power to your series X or you'd have to wait for the updates on that too.

 

Standby mode, my dude. Minimum power consumption but game patches and system updates are handled. 

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Overly complex crafting systems where you end up collecting a whole host of shit just in case it might be useful, your inventory screen heaving with rusted spoons, bitter-tasting grass, damaged motherboards, cracked snail shells or whatever other shite the game might have littering its world. At least indicate if something is useful or not, even if it's just junk that can't be crafted but can be sold for low value.

And games should ALWAYS show the requirements for a craftable item, e.g. You don't have enough parts for this thermonuclear warhead. You need five rusted spoons, 12 pieces of bitter tasting grass, one faulty motherboard, and a cracked snail shell...

 

Also, on a similar line, really complicated character creation sections where you have to put in a hour's work before you even begin the game, only to discover you fucked up by spending too much on magic skills and the first area boss is only weak to physical strength attacks. Just make it obvious what things do, or maybe even provide a well-balanced starter setup for people who just want to dive straight into the game.

 

 

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29 minutes ago, Rayn said:

 

Standby mode, my dude. Minimum power consumption but game patches and system updates are handled. 

The minimum power consumption option doesn't do this.  Well, not for me anyway.

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18 minutes ago, Chooch said:

The minimum power consumption option doesn't do this.  Well, not for me anyway.

 

Have you tried it lately? It didn't used to do it, but a recent-ish change fixed it so that it will do system/game updates in low power mode, but not downloads you started yourself.

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