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The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

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8 hours ago, Vinz Clortho said:

Back once again with the renegade master (sword)

 

 

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I have to admit, I was unsure about what I should go and do last night; I don't want to power on to the next Big Beastie yet but anything else seemed to be a bit of a distraction, but then I remembered how amazing distractions could be so I picked up my horse (she picked up me) and set off for AIMLESS ADVENTURE! First off I remembered that there's a builder around here meant to be making a settlement so I went off to where one of the kindly moronic villagers pointed me and there he was! This man who decided one day to go to his hair stylist and say 'I'm thinking of something a bit penisy, can you make my head look like a bell end?', hacking away at rocks with a toothpick. He wanted me to get wood (fnar) so I chopped a tree down on the little island then decided I might want to leave some eye-pleasing foliage there for the future so I hopped on the back of Freckles and did a barrel roll down to the wetlands, which was full of Guardian statues. 'Aweshome', I thought, 'I can shtock up on Guardian partsh while I go a chip-chopping for Mr Bell End up there' (my inner voice sounds like Sean Connery), and off I went, felling trees and raiding Guardians, then it started getting all stormy and I sheathed my mighty Claymore before I was reduced to a vignette from a Hyrule Public Safety Film.

 


Through the mist and rain I saw a real live Guardian slinking about and, feeling uncharacteristically brave and having a couple of Ancient Arrows a quivering in my arrow holder, I did a bit of Snakey Sneaking around the corpses of his fellow Guardians so I could get the drop on him before he spotted me. Of course, one of the Guardian Corpses was secretly and surprisingly alive so I had to take care of him (in a Mafia way) before I could get the more lively one. I managed to get almost within firing distance when I heard the pianist go nuts and that tell-tale red dot appeared on the screen and it turned out that there were actually two slinky Guardians about and one had snuck up on me instead, like those Velociraptors in Jurassic Park. "Clever gender-non-specific magical robot thing" I wish I'd said, then took out the nearest Guardian with my last Ancient arrow as lighting struck the ground beneath my feet before I ran off behind another corpse.

Now I faced a terrible dilemma - the parts from the last Guardian I fought were all in a nice neat little pile about twenty feet away but the lively one was hanging about waiting for me to pop my head out of cover and laser my nose off, so I did what any self-respecting adventurer would do and waited to see if it would go away. After several hours of hanging about I decided 'fuck it' and ran to the pile of Guardian parts, dodging the lighting and weaving about like a drunk to avoid the targeting laser of the lively one, just managing to pick up all the parts as it fired off laser death at me and running away again right into three Skelemogs who had popped out of the ground to see what was going on. I swung my massive hammer thing around and knocked their heads off as a lightning bolt struck the ground and I ran and ran away away back to the relative safety of my horsey friend then up onto her back and away away back to Mr Bell End up in Tarrey Town. "I've got wood", I said out loud to my dark, empty house as I handed over my stock pile, then he said thanks and told me I had to find one specific Goron whose name ends in 'son' before he could do anything else. He really is a bell end.
 

 

 

 

That bell-end is nothing compared to the "show me this weapon" boy - he's a right little c*nt. Please keep doing this side mission as it's realy, really worth it - the pay-off is just wonderful.

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I’m still loving exploring and it’s amazing how much there is to see and do and new things discovered in areas I thought I had explored.

 

lately I have stumbled upon a colosseum and had an epic battle with a silver Lynel.  Reminded me of many of by boss fights in Dark Souls / Bloodborne where I would get the boss right down on health then get sloppy I’m the rush to finish it off and almost lose.  Link finished off all his food in that one to stay in the fight and just made it.

 

Then decided to wander along the coast.  Saw my first rainbow as I was walking round the headland and then stumbled into Lurelin village which was a fantastic surprise and somewhere Link spent a fair bit of time exploring and paddling in the sea.

 

while there I liked the little touch of link grabbing his foot in pain when kicking open a chest in bare feet.  I felt a bit mean making him do that three times with the chests I found in the sea.

 

Having found the Korok mask it’s been fun figuring out some of the seeds.  I like the way that you know you’re not getting any new equipment so already have what you need to figure out the seeds and the shrines.

 

i’m still not in any hurry to face Ganon.

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On 05/12/2017 at 10:40, sir stiff_one said:

Booted this up for the first time in ages yesterday/day before. I've absolutely loved it but maybe after too many late nights I was like "Man, I would rather play some instant hit gaming"

So I became an expert at Dr Mario. Aiming for completing Level 20 Hi speed, up to level 16 so far.

Anyways, I jumped back in to BotW (2 Divine Beasts down and I guess 85ish shrines). Wandered around next to a huge chasm. Thought sod it I'm jumping in. Discovered a shrine deep in the valley protected by ancient half buried guardians. Worked my way rustily through carefully. Wow. Just as you think you've wandered around the whole world, you find literally just a few bits of landscape and architecture thrown together that are so consistent within the world that they are exciting, hinting at the world before the current world, the ancient hi tech Hyrule. I love the setting, it's like a comic book alternate universe take on Zelda. 

 

This was my exact feeling paying that exact section.  It's like it's hidden enough to not be found until it is eventually found, making you think how designed the un-design is and woooooglargarlgralagh my brain just melted.

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Another night in Hyrule saw me boot up the game without any real clue as to what I was going to do, but I started off by doing a rather clever shrine that involved lighting 5 torches that were arranged on the sides of a massive cube by spinning the cube and being careful not to extinguish any torches in the surrounding water traps; like a Rubik's cube but less likely to start a family argument at Christmas. After I came out of the shrine feeling all cocky like I decided to take a trip round the headlands to see what I could see, and I saw the hurdy-gurdy parot man again, perched on a rock by the shore, singing something about wind and bombs and stuff, so I blew up a load of rubble and the winds all coalesced inside a rock formation which allowed me to use my glider to fly through and land on a shrine marker. Very satisfying; the puzzles in this game are all based around the same physical properties so I'm surprised at how varied and downright fun they are to figure out.



Then onward, cantering about on my lovely Freckles (did I mention she's got a mohican?), picking off Lizards with bows and arrows and smacking Boglins about with a stupidly large sword that I managed to pick up from somewhere. I came across a sleeping blue Hinox which I courageously avoided, tiptoeing my horse around him like a horse ballerina (imagine Sarah Jessica Parker in a tutu), then I crested a rocky hill to see some sort of ruin right on the tip of the headland, guarded by a big blue Lionel. Feeling pumped up from my recent combat successes, I decided to muster all my strength and daringly climbed slowly around the side of the cliff below where he couldn't see me, nabbing the treasure (Gold rupees! Fancy) from two chests when his back was turned. I am not the Hero Hyrule needs right now but the one it deserves or something along those lines.

After that I took Freckles back to one of the Akkala stables for a little nap while I went teleporting about to look at some markers I'd placed on the map earlier; I went to visit the Gerudo and the timid man up at the heart-shaped pond to see if they were getting it on yet, but they were still stood staring at each other doing nothing; I thought they might want to come and visit Michael McFishvicar (this may not be his proper name) down at Zora's Domain as he mentioned something about bringing him couples to tie the knot, but I guess that's not a proper quest and just the flounderings of an aged man of cod (SWIDT?)Then I climbed a nearby mountain to find 3 fucking Hinoxes guarding the entrance to a shrine and I obviously ran away to fight another day.  I think I'm going to go back and explore the Faron region a bit, I sort of skimmed across the surface of that area and there's a big dragon thing to provoke. See you then!

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7 hours ago, Vinz Clortho said:

 

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Another night in Hyrule saw me boot up the game without any real clue as to what I was going to do, but I started off by doing a rather clever shrine that involved lighting 5 torches that were arranged on the sides of a massive cube by spinning the cube and being careful not to extinguish any torches in the surrounding water traps; like a Rubik's cube but less likely to start a family argument at Christmas. After I came out of the shrine feeling all cocky like I decided to take a trip round the headlands to see what I could see, and I saw the hurdy-gurdy parot man again, perched on a rock by the shore, singing something about wind and bombs and stuff, so I blew up a load of rubble and the winds all coalesced inside a rock formation which allowed me to use my glider to fly through and land on a shrine marker. Very satisfying; the puzzles in this game are all based around the same physical properties so I'm surprised at how varied and downright fun they are to figure out.

 


Then onward, cantering about on my lovely Freckles (did I mention she's got a mohican?), picking off Lizards with bows and arrows and smacking Boglins about with a stupidly large sword that I managed to pick up from somewhere. I came across a sleeping blue Hinox which I courageously avoided, tiptoeing my horse around him like a horse ballerina (imagine Sarah Jessica Parker in a tutu), then I crested a rocky hill to see some sort of ruin right on the tip of the headland, guarded by a big blue Lionel. Feeling pumped up from my recent combat successes, I decided to muster all my strength and daringly climbed slowly around the side of the cliff below where he couldn't see me, nabbing the treasure (Gold rupees! Fancy) from two chests when his back was turned. I am not the Hero Hyrule needs right now but the one it deserves or something along those lines.

After that I took Freckles back to one of the Akkala stables for a little nap while I went teleporting about to look at some markers I'd placed on the map earlier; I went to visit the Gerudo and the timid man up at the heart-shaped pond to see if they were getting it on yet, but they were still stood staring at each other doing nothing; I thought they might want to come and visit Michael McFishvicar (this may not be his proper name) down at Zora's Domain as he mentioned something about bringing him couples to tie the knot, but I guess that's not a proper quest and just the flounderings of an aged man of cod (SWIDT?)Then I climbed a nearby mountain to find 3 fucking Hinoxes guarding the entrance to a shrine and I obviously ran away to fight another day.  I think I'm going to go back and explore the Faron region a bit, I sort of skimmed across the surface of that area and there's a big dragon thing to provoke. See you then!

 

 

You konw that first puzzle you mention?  I kept fucking it up so in the ned just gave up and used arrows through a nearby torch.. :D

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19 minutes ago, Bojangle said:

Urge to call in sick rising.

 

I coughed this morning and I also did a really big fart before getting out of bed. I am probably ill .

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I don't want to know anything!! 

 

I am actually ill today. Fever and spinning out.  So much so that I'm going back to bed right now. :(

 

Nice to have more Zelda though! 

 

I'm just not sure whether to do the new stuff on master mode or not! 

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22 minutes ago, JPickford said:

Is it post game or a parallel adventure?

Parallel, it forms part on the main quest. You need to do all of the divine beasts first before it will activate.

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They look like playable flashbacks, rather than you playing with the whole world 100 years ago.

 

 

Anyway, I’be been thinking of buying a new Switch game this week. Glad I held off. I’m going back in, lads. And I’ve got loads of eShop credit that needs spending so this helps. 

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