Harsin

Yes!

That vid is pretty rad, but everyone knows this is the most slapping tune in Yakuza0.

First impressions are... not good. If you didn’t know better you’d think it was like a remaster of a forgotten cult Xbox 360 game. It’s janky as fuck, I spent ages running around the tutorial trying to make a prompt appear where a marker was until it timed out and told me match lost. Tried again and the thing I was trying to find spawned straight away this time. It appears to be absolutely lousy with currency for customisations and loot box openings so cribbed from Overwatch that Blizzard are probably checking with their lawyer right now. I only got to play the Predator in the tutorial, online it only put me as an army man. In this mode it’s just a shite Call of Duty knock off, with ultra treacly movement, where you have to watch out for the occasional potshot from some invisible twat up a tree. There’s some pleasure to be had just running around as a Predator with all the gear and sound effects. But overall feels like a dud and made me wish for a single player Arkham Asylum style Predator game. I only managed to have a couple of games because it was taking about 10 minutes a pop just to find a match (if it didn’t time out). May improve after more plays. I suspect it will suffer a lot from people quitting out if they don’t get to be the Predator. Also what the hell is up with the kazoo remix of Alan Silvestri’s theme that constantly plays over the menus. Why the hell didn’t they just use the awesome original?

Also can we all just acknowledge how shitty those new Romulan Warbirds are. Look at this sexy boi in comparison.

So the way to banish the ultimate threat in the entire universe is basically this then.

This is bizarre. It doesn’t feel like a sequel to Doom 2016. It feels like the sequel to a sequel to that game, which I never played. This is what I remember about the plot (what there was of it) in the last one. You’re a mysterious bloke (hinted to be to original Doom Guy in various collectibles) who wakes up on Mars after a portal to hell was opened and demons slaughtered everyone. So far, so Doom. You complete objectives, like find the thing to power the other thing, which are flimsy excuse for shooting demons in the face. At the end it turns out the shady robot dude you’ve been helping is (surprise, surprise) not on the up and up and imprisons you with a sequel hook that the next one will be set on Earth like the original Doom 2. I’m not taking crazy pills right? That was about it? This one opens and now you live in a flying castle orbiting earth (not really a spoiler, this is the opening 5 seconds) and there’s all this guff about fantasy LotR style kings, and space legislation which mean you shouldn’t be doing this and that. It talks about and introduces characters like you should already know who are they. Like they’re talking about Han Solo or someone everybody will be deeply familiar with. Every log you find is shit like this: ”When Archdeacon Jeh’Ree Seyn’Fehld first discovered the concordance of the plains of Avrillavigne, he dispatched the 18th legion of the M’Acarena Corps to investigate. When they realised it was the site of the Tower of Fraybentos there was much consternation.’ Its all stuff along those lines. It reminds of the extracts of the awful fantasy writing by the novelist, played by F. Murray Abraham, you occasionally get in episodes of Mythic Quest. Are there Doom books and comics they actually expected people to read of something, like 343’s Halo games? The actual shooting is still good and it looks nice. The platforming is kind of cruddy, the controls for it feel kind of cumbersome and like they needed another pass. What a strange game.

In the first one I liked the occasional hint In the collectibles about how you were just the original Doomguy still lumbered with fighting demons across the multiverse all this time later, Ash from Evil Dead style. I really didn’t need more than that,

So am I right in that if you went physical then you get it cheaper and a day earlier than if you went digital. The only downside being that a Game employee might smear virus all over the case while they’re trying to flog disc insurance and a Call of Duty rubber duck to you? Erm, yay for our digital future.

At least it wasn’t as bad as Harry Knowles’ Blade 2 review. WARNING: Try not to read after eating. http://legacy.aintitcool.com/node/11793 such a surprise he later turned out to be a sex pest.

So you're saying that if there was alternative way to pay to watch new films instead of having to go to the cinema longer-term, then they would automatically all wither and die. In that case wouldn’t that mean that the cinema business is a totally artificial market that only exists because people are forced to view media they want to see in that way. Surely they should be aiming to be able to continue because enough people would choose to go there for the quality of service/experience, not because that's the enforced way to watch something.

It’s a bit weird that they decided to go down the story dumps and lavish cutscenes route, when the last game was widely praised for eschewing current conventions in that area. In the last one when the bloke started babbling on about the plot and your dude immediately just smashes the screen and shuts him up I felt like cheering.

Ecclestone was excellent I. No that scene. Nailed the forever cheeriness of someone trying to make things seem okay while they’re bricking it inside. Much better than the self indulgent wankfests that followed.

Oh we're getting the future Period with Discovery. Michael Burnham is going to be the alpha and omega of the Star Trek universe.

What you are about to witness will drive some of you to madness.