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  1. Hollow Knight? Hollow Shite. Yoku's Island Express? Yoku's Island Depressed. Treasure Island Dizzy? Pissed Up Little Cunt.
  2. Stanshall

    Nintendo Switch

    There's virtually no chance of discounts as it is like shit off a shovel, with two of the biggest series in the entire industry just about to release new games.
  3. Stanshall

    PS4 Pro

    Respect. Migraine Crew represent.
  4. Stanshall

    Nintendo Switch

    Or have a load more sons Edit: preferably older so they can pay their share
  5. Stanshall

    Nintendo eShop (Software Chatter)

    Yaassss you beautiful bastard!
  6. Stanshall

    Nintendo eShop (Software Chatter)

    For local multiplayer, you'll definitely want The Nintendo Switch Online Experience - NES Collection Edition.
  7. Stanshall

    Nintendo Switch

    Might get a second Switch to hack and just put Dodonpachi DaiOuJou, Ketsui and Mushihimesama on it. That's all I want now in life. Pretty much achieved all my other dreams.
  8. Stanshall

    Nintendo eShop (Software Chatter)

    Sisters Royale is a tidy little cute-em-up only on the Japanese eShop. Cost about a tenner. It's pretty bare bones in terms of content - you can either play the game, look at your high scores or none of the above - but what's there is a fun little bullet hell shooter. Usual anime monocle and cleavage aesthetic to 'get past' but a good effort with each playable character having a distinct moveset which changes your approach significantly. I'll bang a few more words in completed games, when I can complete the bugger!
  9. Stanshall

    Nintendo Switch

    NES stuff works fine. Realised I can't really be frigged with NES games, though. Quality base line is too primitive, for the most part. I'll try Balloon Fight and Ice Climbers later on, never even heard of them as a kid. I don't have any great affection for the era, to be honest. If and when SNES games appear, I'll be much more excited. Or the CPC464. Roland on the Ropes and Fruit Machine.
  10. Stanshall

    Nintendo Switch

    Thunder Force IV and original Sonic the Hedgehog out in JPN eShop on Thursday. Just FYI.
  11. Stanshall

    Nintendo Switch

    How, may I ask? I have got at least as much eShop shite as you so I feel I am owed this by Miyamoto himself.
  12. Stanshall

    Nintendo Switch

    I'd say Sengoku 3 has better combat than any in that collection, plus it's a fiver. That said, I'll be on that shit tonight once I get home. Looks ace.
  13. Stanshall

    Nintendo Switch

    Don't bother with any. If you want a fighter, get Garou. If you want a shmup, get Blazing Star. If you want a brawler, get Sengoku 3.
  14. Stanshall

    What games did you complete? 2018 Edition

    SNK Heroines (Switch) A duff purchase, and a true stinker of 2018. Yes, I must shoulder some of the blame for not researching adequately and not realising that it featured a dumbed down approximation of the typically wonderful SNK 2D fighting mechanics. I also knew it would probably appeal somewhat to the Asian Babes subscribers but I genuinely thought it'd be a 'girl power' effort with a load of OTT Japanese cultural confetti. Turns out that ninety percent of the development time went into 'does my arse look big in this monocle and cat ears?' And yet, I have enjoyed playing it very very casually with mates a couple of times, as well as some online - though that already seems dead. It's flashy, it's silly, it's excessive and dumb but in the right mood with the right company, it can be a bit of a laugh. I couldn't recommend it to anyone, though. Genuine waste of money. Blade Strangers (Switch) In a similar vein, and I'm not entirely sure why I bought this, Blade Strangers nevertheless has some relative depth to the fighting mechanics. It also features some fairly pervy costumes and the roster is predominantly skimpily dressed anime girls and the like, as well as Isaac from TBOI (yeah, honestly). I don't know what the concept is, but I think it's a kind of Nicalis compilation fighter which is a weird thing in the current fighting game market. I expect it'll be a Blue Baby as soon as DBFZ comes out. Nevertheless, it's a pretty tight, aggressive, flashy fighting game with lots of combo potential and a variety of meters and supers and ultras to contend with while your bikini clad princess swings a Dragonslayer at a robotic maid. That's the vibe. There's actually a cool range of characters with a handful to unlock and I suspect it has quite a bit of depth to it, and certainly much more than SNK Heroines. I would say hold on for DBFZ if you're keen for this kind of anime fighter, though. I'm sure the player base will last much longer. Psyvariar Delta (Switch) Crikey, this is one hell of a game. I've really enjoyed a range of different shmups of late, from Azure Reflections to Deathsmiles to Shikhondo and I've also loved going back to some of my absolute favourites in Mushihimesama and DOJ and Ikaruga, and I can therefore say in total confidence that Psyvariar Delta is right up there with the very best I've played. It's also one of my GOTY. It's little more than a port of the PS2 games (one of which was in fact a revision of the first release) and from what I understand, and can see from YT superplays, it's barely been touched besides a lick of paint. The generic art direction looks at least a generation old, the music (while excellent) is firmly stuck in 2002 (even the superb, updated Delta OST) and the gameplay appears at face value to be nothing new, but with the pad in your hand, it opens up quite magnificently. It's in the fairly small graze shooter niche, alongside the excellent Danmaku Unlimited 3 which I discussed earlier in the year, or the recent Shikhondo: Soul Eater. Where it differs, though, is that these both use grazing as a means to charging up a limited use ultra attack which boosts both damage and score for ten seconds or so. In Psyvariar, you graze and graze and graze and your basic ship will continue to "LEVEL UPPPP" and grant you ever more destructive firepower as well as changing its cosmetic appearance. This means that every single wave, no, every single bullet is an opportunity for you to exploit to boost your shots and tilt the balance in your favour. It's simple lizard brain stuff but it really pushes your buttons to see that BUZZ counter go up into the hundreds (and thousands!) as you graze and milk enemies and bullets for all they're worth, sending your level spiralling and your ship becoming hard as fuck. This superb mechanic also goes even further in that each time you level up, you have a small window of invulnerability during which you can dive head first into the descending mass of bullets and level up faster and faster as the i-frames keep you safe while you milk bosses and swarms of enemies. It means that you feel encouraged to play on the front foot, exploiting the enemies' aggression and using it to serve your own ends. That's such an exciting feeling when you time things right and get your spacing where it needs to be to trigger one level up after another. The HD rumble on the Switch also really reinforces this pleasurable feedback loop as it buzzes excitedly with every grazed bullet. To play it with headphones on and to feel the physical response to your developing skills is one of the most exciting gaming sensations I've had all year. I feel that it's a classic of the genre and also that I've barely scratched the surface.
  15. Stanshall

    Nintendo eShop (Software Chatter)

    http://www.nintendolife.com/news/2018/07/nintendo_clamps_down_on_risque_imagery_by_censoring_taisen_hot_gimmick_switch_port It was called Taisen Hot Gimmick but GUESS WHAT the damn SJWs got it CENSORED which you can read MORE about by following the link ABOVE. It's actually out already in Japan as I suspected.

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