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geekette

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  1. geekette

    Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood predators

    Ugh. He's trying the table flip (I tried to love and uplift her, but she cheated on me so I ended it, and now she wants revenge for being spurned so don't trust a word she says). I'm inclined to believe her account, as that is my default position for plausible disclosures, and his response doesn't paint him in a good light. However I don't like trials by media, and always try to bear in mind that when it comes to one person's word against another it is hard to reach the objective truth. However, there is a grain of possible truth in it that is quite uncomfortable to express or consider, and that is that some abusive partners who are not overtly violent might not know they are being abusive. There can be a kind of Dunning-Kruger effect that combines with people's experiences and norms to make them blind to it. They might be so egocentric that they haven't really grasped the other person's perspective to understand that the stuff that makes them feel better makes the other person feel worse. They might not be aware if the other person is dissociating during sex, or lying there like a starfish rather than being an active participant, if that is their expectation of women or they view them like a piece of meat or a sex toy. Or they might have normalised really dysfunctional relationships (eg if in their childhood one parent was abusive to the other, or there was reciprocal physical and/or emotional harm). People can experience the same events very differently. Lots can go on in your head, and victims of abuse can learn to play the role expected of them, including providing encouragement or reassurance to their abuser. Changes can also be slow and insidious, and therefore hard to recognise for what they are, let alone to recognise your own part in causing them. Some combinations of people can be toxic, even if one or both individuals could have much healthier relationships with other people, so they can feel that the fault must like with the other party. None of that is an excuse for being abusive. It is just worth noticing that systemic norms and childhood experiences impact on personal relationships, because whilst it is easy to react to individual cases and punish individual perpetrators, the way to prevent future cases also involves making systemic changes* including improving services to deal with parenting and domestic abuse. Of course in this particular case it seems like the abuse was so overt and sustained that it would be impossible for any person to miss. So it is way more likely that he was aware and is simply trying to do some reputation management in an attempt to salvage his career. If she was anxious, threatened, cried during sex and became physically unhealthy and emotionally withdrawn it would be really difficult to not notice that. And even if he was oblivious to the impact of his behaviour he is still responsible for treating her in a shitty way. *which is why people like me think there is still a long way to go when it comes to feminism
  2. geekette

    Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood predators

    Thanks. I thought it was out of character for you to merit my sarcasm. But I still don’t think you quite get it. There are numerous places where women *should* be on an equal footing to men (lets pick senior management in large companies as an example, or video game design, or academic tenure) but the reality is that through structural inequality they aren’t. Men in power are selecting to their own template and there are fewer applicants as there is a perception by women this isn’t for me and few role models. That’s why feminism is still needed even though the perception is the battle has already been won and women should stop moaning. It is strange. It is obvious. But we are all habituated to it so we don’t see it.
  3. geekette

    Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood predators

    I haven't said this. You keep saying I have. But I haven't. Oh you poor hard done by man, being oppressed by my prescribed limits and unspoken rules that dominate the forum, and to add insult to injury me not being impressed by your problem solving on behalf of other groups whose issues you don't understand. Look at you claiming victim status, and suggesting I have stolen your power and used to oppress - fantastic table flip, JBP would be impressed. I didn't say you couldn't discuss it, I just think we all need to defer to the insights of people with lived experiences, as we can easily miss really important variables because they are not in our frame of reference. No, I said that awards for minority groups serve a useful purpose. I did not say there should be black oscars, no matter how many times you repeat this. I referred to several external award systems to highlight examples within minority groups (which is one way of doing things, strong critical commentaries about omissions and under-representations are another, lobbying is another, actors in majority groups highlighting omitted peers when receiving awards is another, etc etc). And you didn't therefore follow this to a "logical conclusion" (by contrast, presumably, to my poor female emotional conclusion). I think all under-represented minority groups deserve opportunities to highlight their work and become role models for wider populations to aspire to, rather than people growing up like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie as a black African who thought all book characters had to be white, because that was all she had been exposed to.
  4. geekette

    Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood predators

    I haven't suggested that whatsoever, but thanks for misrepresenting me. Your alternative will likely have men ranked 1-5 in every category, and women told by social media trolls that they were only in 6-10 for the quota, and no black or gay people at all. Having Oscars for best man and best woman actor allows women's acting to be seen. When there is true equality we won't need a quota, and almost every film would pass not just the Beschdel test, but across all films there would be equal screen time, lines and pay for female actors. The reality is that women get 75% less screen time, and 84% less lines, even though things are significantly better than they were a few years ago. If BME actors are under-represented it is right they have award events to promote their visibility. And you are also doing what I criticised Anne Summers for, and trying to give solutions to other people's problems from a position of privilege, assuming you have a better insight into the situation than people who have lived experience. It isn't a good thing to do.
  5. geekette

    Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood predators

    I would be OK with that, and in fact I am. I think it is good to highlight under-represented and undervalued groups. The MOBO music awards highlight black music and there are similar Black Movie Awards and black film festivals. There are also gay awards (GLAAD and LGBT UK). I see it much like the proliferation of women in business awards, that aim to highlight all the women involved in business leadership and traditionally male industries. I think all these minority categories shouldn't be necessary, but they very much are at the moment, in terms of showing the groups that don't traditionally fit into the spotlight that is hogged by straight white men.
  6. geekette

    Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood predators

    We'll never know the truth about the Woody Allen vs Mia Farrow thing. They could both be true allegations, either or neither. I don't like the way there are such strong allegiances and the way the siblings are dismissing each other's accounts, whilst each saying they have perfect recall of one specific evening decades ago when they were young children. The whole family sounds really messy and dysfunctional, with so many allegations, so much conflict and so many suicides
  7. Taking a break for a while, and using my time more productively.

  8. geekette

    Vegetarian / Vegan recipes

    There are two, very near each other, as well as a vegan cake shop that is amazing. Steel City Cakes on Abbeydale Road gave us a massive amount of delicious cakey goodness, and a vegan sausage roll and lots of delicious drinks for a very good price. Just look at their "taster plate"! BurgerLolz is next door and run by the daughter of the woman behind Steel City Cakes and was the place we tried. The food was good, if you like true fast food - meat replacements and carbs - and people rave about it. So maybe I was alone in finding the mac and cheez salty. But the toilet was mouldy all down the wall, with a broken chain and a squirt of water that splashed you each time you flushed; the basin had a broken tap; the plates were chipped, and the place is very basic, and there were no vegetables, salad or garnish in sight. However the milkshake replacements on the next table looked amazing, and as I said the seitan ribs were good. My kids seemed to like the hotdogs, which came in a part-baked mini-baguette that had been briefly seared in a sandwich press. My other half said the burger was okay but a bit dry and would have benefited from some relish and salad. The other option we haven't tried yet is Leave Make no Bones which is pretty much parallel to the other two, but on Chesterfield road. Again, it has good reviews, but is mainly a fast food place with vegan meat replacements, although the menu seems to be a bit wider. We'll probably give it a go some time, as we go into Sheffield at least once a month and again it is on the right side to drive past on our way to Waitrose or the cinema. Oh, and if you want a trip out, my recommendation is for the Green Way cafe in Matlock. All vegetarian with amazing soups, salads, deli meals (where you choose from a range of pates, olives and cheeses to go with fresh baked rolls and a massive salad) and savouries, as well as drinks and cakes. It is a family run place, with a really friendly atmosphere. They always have vegan options on the menu, and have been great about working round allergies. Edit: Make No Bones was great, had a really good meal there for a reasonable price.
  9. geekette

    Vegetarian / Vegan recipes

    I had seitan ribs with herby potatoes and pulled jackfruit on vegan mac and cheez at the new vegan fast food place in Sheffield the other day. The seitan ribs were quite nice, but the mac and cheez tasted too salty for my liking, and I couldn't really get past there being no veg or salad on the plate at all (and the prices being so high for such a shoddy venue/presentation). I'd much rather eat at a vegetarian place near me where they do a massive plate of salad and home baked rolls with whatever you order, and have plenty of vegan choices - especially as the meal price ends up less for something much more healthy/substantial. But I guess there is a market for vegan fast food, and as a hippy vegetarian who was never much into fast food or meat replacement products I'm just not it.
  10. geekette

    Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood predators

    I thought we had rules on this forum about sexism? So why isn't futureshock banned? I'd assume if he called a black person "it" that would be unacceptable, so why is it acceptable to call a woman or her body parts "it"? Surely the very definition of objectification is to refer to a woman in terms of her body parts, and as an object for sexual use rather than a person? Even sky suspended and then sacked one of the football presenters @beenabadbunny quoted above for sexism. And surely we can uphold higher standards here/now than seven years ago on sky? And doesn't all the casting blame/doubt onto Mia Farrow and Dylan fall under 2.3j?
  11. geekette

    Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood predators

    Indeed, but I'm not going to go back round the loop with futureshock about the details. The fact is that any lay person cherry picking from the evidence leaked to the media 25 years ago is not going to form a clearer picture than the judge who made findings on the case (findings, I note, that have never been successfully challenged despite all Allen's wealth and influence).
  12. geekette

    Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood predators

    If by "willing it to be true" you mean generally believing victims, and feeling the court judgement is probably a more accurate weighing of the evidence than a lay person can do based upon the selective evidence leaked into the public domain by the various parties, then you've got me bang to rights. But in reality it seems you have some pretty weird ideas of what that phrase might mean, to go with your clear bias to defend perpetrators and discredit those making disclosures about their experience. You haven't yet made any case about how this case is "not like the others" - pretty much all the men deny the allegations against them and try to bring up conflicting actions or potential motivations for making them. He just did so ahead of the curve, and against a single victim, with a narrative that chimed with toxic beliefs about women.
  13. geekette

    Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood predators

    I'm curious about why you'd need to push particular sources to discredit someone alleging abuse? Do you go rooting around for evidence to discredit people making allegations their house was burgled? Or that somebody mugged them? Or do you just save that for sex crimes against women and children? How about common or garden child abuse? Do you hang about to defend those poor perpetrators besmirched by the disclosures that 1 in 6 children in the UK are sexually assaulted? After all, most of them are only protected by civil court findings and few of the perpetrators are ever convicted of criminal offences? Or did they not have a good enough PR teams to defend their honour to give you ready made lines of attack? Or perhaps it is only famous men? Did you go digging to see whether there were any inconsistencies in the testimony of Jimmy Savile's victims? Or those who made allegations against Rolf Harris? Or Ian Watkins? Or is it specific to men you admire? Or perhaps you'd like to defend Weinstein, or Toback, Spacey, Lauer, Kriesberg, Ratner, Franken, Moore, Bush, Clinton or Trump, as none of them have been convicted, so they are just allegations, right? No? Your defender of the righteous role doesn't extend to them? So, why stand up for poor maligned millionaire director with a PR and legal team that threaten anyone who speaks against him Woody Allen?
  14. I think my frame of reference has changed over the last four years, and my radar for sexism can now spot things as obvious that would have slipped by me before. I suspect the same is true for a fair few other people. I'd have just found the film implausible, and felt frustrated by it if I'd seen it at the time of release, it is only now that I can identify why it is so horrible. Of course, I'm aware that other people don't feel the same about misogyny, or about suspending belief (which I know I find difficult where the plot is supposedly set in reality) and there are more facets on which to judge a film, so others may well like it. I'm just explaining why I don't.
  15. geekette

    Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood predators

    He pretty much accepts that he did ask about sexual activity, put his hand on an intern's leg and generally participate in the culture of the time, whilst being defensive about that being in any way wrong and trying to throw doubt on the allegations by asking why they were so delayed (when it was clear that the culture at the time would not have allowed it to be raised, and the power differential was so marked that the intern had to apologise for being upset at his unwanted advances at the time). Couple that with three women making allegations against him, and I think John Oliver was making a reasonable point, even if his wording about the burden of proof wasn't right. I find it fascinating that someone could watch that exchange, read that article, know the context and still see the millionaire movie star as the victim and want to speak up for him.
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