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David Heath

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  1. David Heath

    New Super Mario Bros U Deluxe (2019)

    Bought this in Soho yesterday on my lunch break. Like, I actually walked into a GAME and bought it. Reckon it's the first game I've bought in a shop in about ten years. Never had a Wii-U so was pumped as fuck to play it. But I got hammered after work in a German pub in King's Cross, then bought a bottle of wine on the way home from the M&S in Victoria station, and it was a 1 litre bottle instead of the usual 75cl bottles, which I didn't realise until later, so I got home and had a shower and locked myself in my room and opened the wine and got down to it. Reckon I passed out after drinking all the wine at about 3am. Woke up this morning and it looks like I'm on the ice world now, which is cool. 10/10
  2. David Heath

    Hollow Knight - Soulsvania platformer

    I finished this last night. It took 42 hours and I ended with 79% so I still have a fair amount left to do, which I'm looking forward to. It's a weird one, though. I mean, the game is incredible. It's one of the most atmospheric and beautiful things I've ever played. Imagine if David Lynch directed a Studio Ghibli film, or, I dunno, H. P. Lovecraft wrote an episode of In The Night Garden. It's fucked. The sound design is glorious. The monstrous scuttling and breathing effects in some of the lower regions of the map are straight up deranged. I also love how simple the controls seem, but how much the game designers do with it based around the movements of different enemies and the bosses. There are so many variations, and almost every single creature has it's own best way to attack and avoid, which is impressive work. But I've had a super odd relationship with the progression. Like, I thought I knew how these games are supposed to work. I 100%ed Axiom Verge in December, and I've beaten all the Metroid games, but something about this had me puzzled as fuck, which is cool, but in ways I wasn't expecting, which is ... cool? There was a point about four hours in where I was totally jammed. I had no clue where to go. It happened again about ten hours in. I don't think it's ever immediately obvious where to go next. Even the clues you get from the dude in the village aren't that clear, and whereas in a game like Axiom Verge and Super Metroid you can almost just rely on the map to work out what you're supposed to be doing, I feel like the nature of progression in Hollow Knight doesn't allow for this prior knowledge. It feels like you need to do more backtracking in previous areas than most normal games of this kind. Which is great, and that's awesome, but it did throw me quite a bit, because I felt like I'd been programmed to think I knew where I was meant to be, but I'd frequently be caught off guard and find myself finding myself being wrong a lot. It was interesting. It jumbled with my expectations in all kinds of ways. Even now, after beating the final boss, it's kinda difficult to work out what to do next. I have some clear goals where I know what needs to be done, but then there are some objectives I'm not sure how to follow up on. I also don't feel like the map is particularly well signposted, and there's one objective in particular where I have no clue where I'm supposed to be headed. It's weird. It's like I know what's up but I don't know what's up. In conclusion, Hollow Knight is kinda like walking up to the bar and slapping your girlfriend's ass and kissing the back of her neck but then you realise it was her twin sister and her mum was watching all along. 10/10
  3. David Heath

    Pokemon Go

    Does this mean there are Hawaii version of all Pocket Men?
  4. David Heath

    Pokemon Go

    I caught a Rattata but it’s different what is happening.
  5. David Heath

    Pokemon Go

    Let's assume I deleted Pokémon Go like two years ago and then I downloaded it again about four minutes ago and started from scratch. What are the five most important things I need to know that are different, straight off the bat?
  6. David Heath

    Nintendo Switch

    The official adjustable charging stand is nice. I thought it could hold power within the unit and charge the Switch independently from a plug socket, and it can't, but it's still a smart little device, and about ten billion times better than dismantling the monstrous plastic Rubik's cube of embarrassment that is the Hori contraption. Overall, eight Davina McCall's out of a possible ten Davinas.
  7. David Heath

    Breaking Bad

    Really hope this turns into a tedious and endless discussion about whether this will be good or not, or can be good, or if there is a history of anything being good, or maybe it will because here's one example, or nah, that's a bad example and it'll be bad again, for five fuckin years until this is released.
  8. David Heath

    Nintendo Switch

  9. David Heath

    Nintendo Switch

    I'm so pumped about all of this. I missed an entire generation of games and stopped playing since like the original Wii or something, and now I have a system which I've sunk about 500 billion hours into across some of the best games I've ever played in my entire life, plus a whole bunch of awesome shit from the eShop I've only just started to get into, and now we get this online shit which includes a constant drip feed of NES games, almost definitely expanding to other consoles too, and I can take all of it on the fucking train. More observations: - WTF is Solomon's Key lol that shit looks hot - Wario's Woods FUCK YES - WTF is Mighty Bombjack that shit looks even hotter - Metroid *falls to knees* - Dope controllers *dies*
  10. David Heath

    Nintendo Switch

    I want it to be all at once too. But if it was, I probably wouldn’t play all the cool weird shit I never looked at before.
  11. David Heath

    Nintendo Switch

    I know, right? Imagine choosing to wait fucking ages to do this for no reason at all and building a long term marketing plan around it to scale the entire thing sensibly rather than just skip all the hundreds of man hours it takes to achieve such a thing just so some nerds on the Internet get the specific thing they want, it’s crazy, you’d think Nintendo were some kind of business and have to worry about P&Ls and shit. Those idiots.
  12. David Heath

    IGN writer busted copying other people's reviews

    It's because he's lazy, but he's also too stupid to realise he isn't being as lazy as he could be.
  13. David Heath

    Nintendo Switch

    It's become my new favourite game to play drunk. Had so much fun at the weekend with it and a bottle of red wine, becoming angrier and angrier at Toad and his idiotic mannerisms and voice, searching bitterly for the stupid hide and seek pixel, maddening myself at my own lack of good aim on the mine cart, and convulsing with frustration at not being able to work out how to reach a diamond which turns out to be simple in the end. It's like glorious colourful stress ball with whimsical music. 10/10

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